Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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