As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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