I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No subtext here. People are naked.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
