I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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