She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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