Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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