Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
