Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize