So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
