there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
