i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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