Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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