i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
