He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Randomize
