What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
