so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
