Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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