I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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