I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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