how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
