He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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