I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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