11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
