I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Blow job season was short but glorious.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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