So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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