I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
