I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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