It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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