look no pants
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to sanitize my soul.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
