You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
