a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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