Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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