You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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