i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
