First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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