i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
