It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I am one with the molecules
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
