i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
