there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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