He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
