I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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