i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
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