Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
