So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
