forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
