Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
accomplished twins. life is a go
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
