He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
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