I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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