Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
