dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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