It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
