If i come over, it means nothing
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
