He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Randomize