her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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