I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
